Yes, this is a full session focused on the simple matter of “That vegan stuff” or “that gross thing in the health-food section”. TOFU
We’ve been trying to master the art of the tofu scramble for a month now. It’s kind of like making “huevos rancheros”, only without the huevos. (That’s eggs for all of us non-Spanish speakers who didn’t watch “Dora” as kids) This would be good if you need a lot of soy and nutrients like calcium but none of the dairy.
For weeks now, we’ve been trying to master this 1 recipe that seems to pop up on dozens of tofu cooking guides, the one that YouTuber “It Doesn’t Taste Like Chicken” calls: the breakfast of vegan champions, <fanfare!> Tofu Scramble
The first thing we noticed when buying tofu was the variety of firmness. There’s Firm, Extra Firm and Super Extra Firm. Firm tofu is easy to crumble into pieces, but it takes the longest to prep. You don’t want it to squish into a pancake, like that time we used a 20 lb kettle-bell in a bowl to squeeze out the extra liquid and it made the coolest sound! But if you don’t get enough of the water out, you get less than perfect, really squishy results that literally crumble to pieces.
Our next step: The spices. We’ve had luck with spice combinations like chili powder, paprika and red pepper flakes, or that garlic, onion and black pepper one, sometimes we put in pre-made blends like ones made with different powdered cheeses, Italian herbs, and sun-dried tomato and peppers. But we don’t go overboard with anything.
Let me clarify Lauren’s point. By “overboard”, we mean don’t put in too many spices, otherwise everything will just mask over and you’ll end up with too much to tell which is what and what goes with anything. We do realize you need to have a ton of the spice itself because tofu acts like a sponge and absorbs whatever seasonings you put in it. Tumeric is a bit bitter, but it gives a curry flavor and a nice golden yellow color. Plain tofu is bland. Remember Lauren’s motto: Bland is boring! You need lots of salt, about 4 pinches at least. Most people use black salt because of the high sulfur and charcoal levels making it smell more like eggs, but there’s a little shop in Lake George called “The Olive Oil Co.” that sells an array of salts that you can taste for yourself and add to whatever you want.
It doesn’t sound so yummy, but it’s what makes it more like real eggs. We’ve found if you cook everything else first, take it all out, then brown the tofu on both sides (leave it on the heat long enough to caramelize) that’s where we get flavor. You can fold everything else in the skillet with it at the end.
As for sauce, YES, ADD IT! Like when we made tofu tikka marsala.
Big flavors are key. We tend to use mushrooms and bell peppers. We’re looking into cranking up the heat with chilies and jalapenos. Overall, tofu is a lonely drama queen. High maintenance and needs constant compliments.
If you just want a nice appetizer, we recommend taking some of the extra firm tofu, cutting and salting it like mozzarella cheese and throwing it into a bowl of spinach, tomato chunks and balsamic & olive oil dressing, or maybe a vinaigrette for a vegan friendly capresse salad. We used it in one of our soft spring rolls a few weeks ago, and it was delicious!
Wait, what if you don’t want eggy tofu and need it to somehow taste like chicken because your vegan friend is coming over to watch the match? It’s easy: Drain the water, cut it up, freeze it overnight, and when you want to use it, dredge it in corn-starch and coat it in some sauce like this guy from England who calls himself “The Easy Vegan” on YouTube. Isn’t that neat? He even has a fish version we need to try here…
See? This isn’t just some weird vegan cardboard goo gone wrong from outer space. It’s a soy bean wonder block with many different uses.
We have 1 or 2 vegetarian/vegan friends, but we want to talk to at least a few more. Since Miam Bialeck, Paul McCartney, Davy Jones and Alan Cumming are unavailable to us, we need some chat from the audience. Are you a tofu conesouer? Do you know someone who makes a mean tofu anything? PLEASE tell us! We love sharing. “Sharing is Caring!” (Yes, we love the movie “The Circle”. It’s one of our favorite moments.) Won’t you PLEASE share your thoughts, opinions and innovations with us?
Pretty please, with a cherry tomato on top? It’s FREE and we’ll give you a shout-out!