Table For Two

It’s a classic tale of a floundering seafood restaurant. At first the food is fresh and delicious, then a few less customers come in and they have to start lowering the budget. The food suffers. The chef can’t recreate the flavors with frozen and canned ingredients, so the customers stop. The management changes and the cycle repeats until finally they can’t find someone to shift everything back into shape and it all crashes.

It’s these sort of stories that once required a wake-up call and total makeover by the famous Gordon Ramsay and his crew behind the show “Kitchen Nightmares“, later revamped to “24hrs to Hell and Back“; if not “Restaurant Impossible” featuring sledgehammer-wielding, Robert Irvine. Not all restaurants fall this way, but it’s as common as a cold if it’s not a fast-food chain. Our spotlight restaurant is “The Reel Seafood Company” formerly of Albany NY.

My mother went there in the late 80’s after her friend gave the oysters a 5 star personal review. Upon my mother’s visit, she was served a bowl full of salt, pasty chowder with uncooked lumps of flour and no essence of flavor. Management switched hands between then and the late 2010’s.

This is what it was like to the general public in 2019: https://www.yelp.com/biz/reel-seafood-albany-2 

That’s when my step-father John, went in for a dinner date with my mom and me for her birthday in July 2016. Things had definitely improved by then, to the point that I was advised to take Lauren there for dinner on our first ever 1st date anniversary on March 25th 2017, conveniently during restaurant week, so the special was 3 courses, but we liked the menu options better. I had the Giovanni linguini with scallops in white wine sauce and she tucked into a stuffed haddock after we polished off the raw bar’s best oysters.

FYI: No real scientific proof has been found about oysters increasing sexual desire. 2015 “Sexual Medical Reviews” journal says; they’re great for increasing zinc, male hormone health, serotonin and amino acids, but the goo-goo eyes are a placebo-effect.

We loved it so much and the staff was rather pleasant, yet sophisticated. It became our favorite haunt. I remember having the ruby-red spiced jambalaya, the legendary cioppino, (Think of that as a shellfish lover’s platter complete with claw-crackers, wipes and a plastic bib topped with a lobster tail) and the stuffed haddock. The bread always accompanied one container of olive oil and balsamic vinegar mix, one ball of plain butter and one ball of fruit-flavored butter like strawberry or blueberry. It was a dead give-away that the bread rolls came reheated from the consistency, but then again, I’ve always liked poppy seed.

Later on, we began to see some changes in their quality of food. The rolls were the same. The butter trios were still delicious, but the jambalaya Lauren recommended to me was different, stew vs soup consistency. We thought it was a different chef in the kitchen and thought nothing of it. The flavors were still there, you know? Moving on, we saw more and more chicken dishes coming up on the menu. We all know the one person in a seafood joint who can’t stand fish, so they get something from the small meat-section in a wine reduction paired with veg. When we go to a seafood restaurant, we expect there to be a majority towards aquatic dishes, whether it be sushi, white fish, salmon or any kind of crustaceans or mollusks. As we continued to visit, the more chicken replaced some of the fish dishes we knew and loved. Jambalaya was the first thing to go, then the cioppino and to our shock, the Giovanni just to name 3. Sure, there were still fish and chips, clam chowder and salads, but those you can get at a low-end diner or a fish-fry place for a lower price. It’s like the Sparkle paper towel commercial use to say, “Why pay extra for something, like gourmet chicken nuggets?”

We went one last time in celebration of Jeremy’s paper being published and my new state job in January 2020. The raw bar was a fine treat, but the chicken had nearly overtaken the entire menu. Why? Chicken is cheap, well-liked and very familiar to people. It’s a safe staple for the restaurant industry eaten by anyone who isn’t vegan, vegetarian, pescitarian or Catholic during Lent on Fridays. Yes, it’s important to change the menu to keep things interesting, and we understand it was also a steakhouse, but the taste was off on both of our orders with clear signs of the stuffed haddock having been frozen. If I wanted something processed out of a box, I could’ve bought it for next to nothing with coupons. We left with complimentary mints and thanked ourselves for not having gotten dessert, or signed up for their restaurant loyalty app. A week later, we found a notice online stating that The Reel Seafood Company was shut down for good. 

What have we learned here? When management cuts corners on what really counts is not going to have much longevity. A successful restaurant does only 1 thing, give the customers what they want: Natural ingredients, Cooked well at Fair costs and they’re Happy to do it for your satisfaction.

Hana means “flower” in Japanese. Flowers have a strong significance in Japan from geisha names, to decor, to food and restaurants. This restaurant, “Hana” is near the Crossgates Mall and Colonie Center. Mind your step, please. I’d like to give you a little taste of what’s inside. Afterall, It’s in my top 3 places to go out for a nice lunch or dinner. If you want the Sunday happy hour, come in at 4:30 pm. We don’t partake in alcoholic beverages outside of Church communion, so we won’t discuss that.

Like some Japanese restaurants, they have 2 sections: 1 for regular dining and 1 for Hibachi. (Where the chef performs a comedic trick show while preparing your meal) Actually, if you get the table next to the sushi counter, you can see into the Hibachi dining rooms so you can have a glimpse of the show without the potty-humor or the hibachi price. It made it on the news once for suing a hibachi restaurant for squirting her with the “pee-pee boy” water gun.

My first look is at the tea section. Waitresses and waiters always ask about that first. If you would like a small pot (~4 cups worth) of green, Jasmine, peony or fruit, order that first. They don’t come with cream, lemon, sugar or honey, so you might want to ask about that, but traditionally, cream never goes with green tea anywhere. The small tea cups look like the pencil holder I made for my dad in middle school in green with a dent for a small hand to fit just right. They stay hot the whole time. I usually hold my cup and check if I can see the steam or not before I sip so I don’t burn my tongue. I’ve been caught putting ice from my water into my tea to cool it down because I can’t wait to drink it.

Now for the appetizers, the majority of the sushi appetizers have mayo or spice, but there are some safer options that I enjoy for example, the Yuzu Tai, (fish & chip lovers, please say “yes” to this one without the frying oil) chef’s choice sushi pieces and the sushi sandwich. If you have a sweet tooth during dinner, you can have the maki combo. Eel is always served in a super sweet sauce, similar to plum. Be warned, sushi rice will fill you up fast. We did a sushi post once, HERE it is.

The clear and miso soup, and the gyoza are simple enough that I can make it at home. Don’t take the chicken fingers and onion rings that are sold everywhere as sides and/or a family meal. It’s just not worth it. When I go out, I look for things that I can’t cook myself or I can only get at the restaurant I’m in. Shumai is my go-to appetizer for those reasons. Those are nice tiny snack dumplings steamed in a small pot with a leaf at the bottom. The dish originated in China served with pork fillings, but Japanese style is ALWAYS full of pasty shrimp. Ours came with baby shrimp on top. They were so cute! The peanut dipping sauce is great for that extra zing of flavor to balance the fat. We were dipping our fingers in it after we finished the food!

Sushi entrees are wonderful to look at, and taste scrumptious in my opinion. Honestly, I would love to try the new sushi for 2 dinners and the special love boats, but we were in the mood for something warm and comforting. I had the pad-thai. It’s loaded with peanuts which compliment the pork and the noodles are like thin ribbons, while the mushrooms and vegetables are shredded and topped with egg, just the way I like it. I had the beef last time and man, did I chow down. It was too good to just let it sit there. There is one duck dish too, so I had to really think which one I wanted. I enjoy duck, but it’s a delicate cook to get it just right and render out ALL of that thick fat. I save that for when I’m not trying to be good after February’s chocolate mousse. 

I on the other side of the table, had a bowl of Nabeyaki Udon soup. Udon is thick wheat noodle. They have to be eaten with chopsticks because they’re so long and slippery. I found myself piling one noodle at a time onto my spoon to eat them without waving them over my mouth. The Japanese may think slurping is okay, but I hate the sound too-too much! I liked the zucchini while it was still firm, but the pepper brought it all together, otherwise, that chicken would’ve been bland. BLAND MEANS BORING! Thank goodness for sweet red bell pepper slices and green onion. Best of all, I didn’t get a salty stock taste or a sodium overload from the broth. It was just right. If I get a headache after 1 bowl, that’s a red-flag waving me to the car. 

I remember liking their ice cream, but I have far too much in the home freezer, so don’t forget to grab a pear-flavored candy from the host. They come in handy when you run out of lozenges and honey, or if you want to melt them, paint with the goo and lick it off after it hardens like in Willy Wonka. I give the Albany Hana, a solid grade A. Pricing is satisfactory, servers are kind and gentle, and the chefs know how to put on a show. The food is tasty and original. It’s also clean and the music is soft enough to hear, but not overpower. Well done, Hana. You are the flower of my heart, or should I say, stomach?

Check out Hana’s website. They take online orders! ….https://hanaalbany.com/

Hey, Everyone! Jeremy here! I’ve been off on the other side of the country this week with my physics, optics colleagues in San Francisco. (Be sure to wear some flowers in your hair) They had cascades of places to eat and foods to try, but I only had time for a few the week I was out. These are my unsponsored and uncensored opinions of what I had. Feel free to comment and tell me what you think of these and other places on this blog and on our Facebook page. We’d love to hear from our readers. Let’s get to it!

 

Sorabol

Sorabol was one of those popular super crowded mall restaurants with quick lines wrapped around the building. The food was good, but my tiny meal was…not 15, but $20. I grabbed some traditional rice, a handful of short ribs and bright red kimchi. They were falling off of the bone and my chopsticks with marinated mushrooms and tofu. This was all soaked in Kimchi spice.

 

Supreme Crab

That night, I looked around the city and saw one thing that Lauren would’ve loved if she could come with me, crab cakes. She use to catch blue crabs with her family during Jersey Shore vacations out at the Ortley Beach bay area. The lights were barely on, but just from the smell, you could instinctively tell there were crabs all along the walls, practically through the ceiling! They had everything, dungeness, rock, a few spare lobsters, mixed into dish after dish of crab linguine, #1 popular crab melts, and my order of crab cakes. You can’t go wrong with anything that has the word “cake” in it, right? Perhaps they should’ve been crab “cupcakes” for how small they were to scale.

They were smaller in diameter than your own coffee mug. However, the quality was fresher than fresh. It was all succulent tender crab in an herb bed. I couldn’t even tell how it was bound together. I hardly tasted the bread. I paired it with sourdough and went to Neptune’s sea-castle with every bite. Having the live crabs there helps enhance the flavors your tasting because you knew it was the real stuff. No Mermaid-Meat here! (Thank EVERYTHING!) All of that with fries and a salad, it was worth the calories. San Francisco is all sidewalks. Why sit in traffic when you can walk around and look at all of the sights?

 

San Francisco Chocolate Store

I know I’m trying to lose weight, but I figured, it’s for you, the blog audience. We hardly ever do desserts, so this is a treat for you AND me. See what I mean? Good, don’t tell Lauren! She’ll smack me upside the head! 

I was greeted at the entrance by a toy soldier as tall as a baby giraffe. Every type of chocolate was there mostly hand-crafted confections all oozing with chocolate. I snagged a white chocolate marshmallow for the road right off the bat. I also grabbed a scoop of vanilla bean gelato with caramel drizzled throughout. Definitely a perfect summer spot for a date. Nowhere like a sweets shop for your sweetheart. Give them a kiss, or a bag full of them and share a small sundae. I give Lauren the cherry on top every time. My Italian roots still crave their gelato even now. I like how it was nice and creamy and not too icy. It was like a snowball made all out of cream! Vanilla bean is becoming more and more scarce, so maybe I’ll try a different flavor next time, give the plant a breather, you know?

 

Kan Ramen

There were a million different Asian and specifically Japanese, Chinese and American-Chinese places in California. (Remember that history lesson about Angel Island?) Most of them were in Chinatown but I didn’t want to risk getting sick with all of this talk of viruses, so I cruised along the border between their and Little Italy. The ramen places in Clifton Park NY are meh, so I figured with all of the Japanese people here, they must’ve brought their recipes with them and/or passed them down. 

After hiking from the hotel to the beach, up a hill or 2 ramen looked like a good idea. Kan was fast, but not as suspiciously fast as Kazan in Albany. The firm noodles were full of tonkotsu broth with extra spice and some sneaky black garlic. I noted the sweet melt-in-your-mouth pork pieces, but it wasn’t sugary sweet. I figure it was from the garlic, it can be spicy and sweet at the same time. Lauren and I can’t live without garlic. The highlight was the sunny boiled egg done just right. This was the most satisfying and lowest cost, $10.00 so for the same price as home, I got a bowl of ramen as big as my shoe that tasted twice as flavorful and the atmosphere was really nice with a friendly yet quiet waitress. I recommend Kan Ramen anytime.

 

Freshroll

The wharf was an hour hike away. My optics partner Alex’s wife knew about this Vietnamese place called “Freshroll” and brought me in. Their main thing was pho and MYO spring rolls and weird gimmicky sandwiches. Pho is one of my usual weekend lunches at home, so I knew basically what I would get. See this post for more info. I chose beef from their beef, pork or chicken options. I understand how they want to do more than soup, but I love how at Saigon Springs, we not only know 2 of the waitresses there, but their pho section of the menu has variety, like their special full of tripe, vegetarian with tofu or their beef eye-round.

Freshroll had veggies galore; cilantro, basil, lime, bean sprouts etc. I grabbed as many greens as I could fit in my recyclable plastic bowl. Basil in pho is great, but otherwise, the meats were too few, but excellent for what was there. The noodles were very thin and sort of chewy from being overdone. Instead of potato chips, they had taro chips, like semi-sweet nachos. I could see myself munching on these during a movie with peach salsa. Overall, I would call this the fast-food version of pho that made me miss my weekends at Saigon Springs with my Lauren.

 

Onigilly

Good thing Lauren taught me not to rush around while visiting and how to meander, otherwise I would’ve missed this little jade in the rough. J-pop was blasting through the stereo. The name of the restaurant is a play on the word “Onigiri” or “rice balls shaped like triangles wrapped in nori”. Think of them as sushi cones. It was quaint and easily affordable. For $4-6 I got 2 of them full of fish, meat and veg. They don’t just use white rice. They used the most filtered purest brown rice, but the flavor is identical. You can hear the nori crunch like wrapping paper on Christmas day and taste the freshness in every bite. I usually like to try a basic thing 1st because it’s safe. The way a chef does basic elements tells me everything I need to know about his/her capabilities. I tried a moist flakey salmon. I swallowed both of them like they were the world’s greatest sushi, mouth-watering at first sight. They bore an aroma like you grabbed it out of the ocean that very second. I paired it with green tea and dango. Dango is a green, white and fuschia mochi full of bean or seed paste. They were so refreshing after savory sushi, to bring me back down to Earth from sushi-nirvana. My colleague came along for my second time on my recommendation. Then, I found shitake mushrooms braised in soy sauce. Let’s just say, I went to Heaven in a blanket. The mushroom had beautiful decadent flavor. Shiitakes usually come off as too chewy, but these enhanced the soy sauce as a salty umami. Put that into the rice and I said, “I’ve never had anything greater than this”. Onigiri is my new calling card. If anyone knows a place that makes them, PLEASE bring me along.

 

Fisherman’s Grotto

Next to the fishmongers, I looked inside of a fancy-shmancy $35 and over dinner restaurant. My eyes went straight to the octopus tacos.  It was a sight to be seen with charred octopus spewing out the seams, cilantro sprigs and romanesco broccoli doused in chipotle sauce. It was a complete entity eaten in 5 minutes trying to savor it all. The chipotle sauce completed it. I took it in as comfort food. But $25 just for 2 tacos was as ridiculous as it sounds on paper. There’s a theme in San Fran about paying top dollar for quality organic and all around expensive ingredients. It’s worth it if you’re sharing, but as a solo diner, I wouldn’t go for this again alone. 

 

Backed Bear

My friend Ting and I knew this would ruin my diet; but 1 way or another, we were going in. Lauren can scream at me later. The whole place had cookies wafting in the air practically calling us from every blue and white corner guarded by polar bears…”have a treat, relax, devour…it’s chocolate”. That was enough for me and I was still peckish after those 2 tacos. A guy needs a dessert after giving a talk in front of highly sophisticated critics. First things first, pick your medium, do you want cookie, brownie or waffle? The cookies were all fresh on the tray as big as a man’s hand. I immediately chirped, “Brownie”. It was ooey-gooey fudge on the inside as warm as my darling’s hugs. It was perfectly medium baked on the inside. 2nd, you pick your ice cream. They had the classics, (vanilla, chocolate, strawberry) leading into double chocolate, bunny trails, espresso…the WORKS! I made a beeline for the double dark chocolate. I soon looked over towards the most beautiful near tear jerking section…the topping bar. Peanut chunks, baking chips, sprinkles and my favorite thing of all…Oreo crumble.  I could only choose between cookies or brownies at step 1, but there were cookie TOPPINGS, so I could have my cake and eat it too, LITERALLY! COWABUNGA!! The waffle press on the side sealed it all together and wrapped it in a basket, totally worth the $8 for 3 scoops in 1 of icecream in the middle. I wished Lauren , was there to finish the rest because I couldn’t. I only made it halfway at the most, but I digress, it hit the sweet spot right in the kisser. These guys get my 1st place prize in desserts. Bravo! 

 

Crepe Cafe

Last but not least, this was next to the aquarium and Bubba-Gump shrimp. (There will be a post concerning that cookbook later.) There were a few crepe shacks around, but this is the only time and place I could give one a whirl, my last day to be exact, so I went in. There were huge bay windows and round iron disks to thin the batter, bake and flip the crepes. They had egg, spanish, meat, cheese, berries…pretty much everything you could imagine. Dulce de leche ties with maple syrup in my book, and I’m a maple junkie, so that’s saying something. The crepe was as big as my gut is now. It was folded into a wedge and topped with a giant dollop of whip cream. This is $10, so wallets be warned. I remember staying up all night with a bunch of guys in college making crepes by the dozens as a sort of party, twice, so I guess this was enough to show me that some things are best made at home, that way you can put your own flair on it and not have to pay someone on the higher end of the price. Yup, I’ll gladly save my cash next time I want crepes. It’s more fun for me to cook with my angel than to have someone else get all of the spoils. As a scientist, I must insist upon experimenting whenever possible to come to optimum conclusions and find the best formulas for everything from Applesauce to zucchini cake.

We’re super excited about all of the changes happening to us these past few weeks. They were so big, that we didn’t have time to post anything! We humbly ask for you to forgive us. I got a new full time city job in an office with a new desk and everything. 

I on the other hand was out in California with some of my colleagues discussing optical physics and trying to keep out of Chinatown until the massive virus gets under control.                        On the sidelines, we spent a weekend together in Amsterdam New York for their second annual Soupfest. Let me show you what we thought.  http://mohawkvalleycompass.com/2020/02/sampling-seven-amsterdam-soupfest-locations/

Jeremy and I have been watching a few gingerbread and cookie baking shows this holiday season. One of them was specifically on the subject of gingerbread houses. A woman from Argentina moved to Canada and competed against 2 other bakers and won the title of Christmas Gingerbread Champion.

Last year, we made a gingerbread Eiffel Tower with Twizzlers, white chocolate and turkish delight. Check it out HERE!! This year we comprised a gingerbread centerpiece for my mother. She wanted something simple, but we like themes and artistic flair, so we agreed to a gingerbread version of Snoopy’s 1st prize doghouse decorated to the max for Christmas to compliment Mom’s Snoopy invitations.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Lauren’s family used to be in the remodeling business and even built two houses as well as their own in the 2000’s. I on the other hand have a construction-grade recipe for gingerbread courtesy of my grandmother’s cookbook. What? You didn’t think that all gingerbread was alike, did you? Moisture from things like molasses, milk, and eggs are going to soften the dough and make it less stable. Last year the cookie came out OK for our needs. This year however we wanted to kick it up a notch and make sure the dough could hold up the structure. 

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Construction-grade gingerbread is SUPER dry and almost feels like wet sand on the beach while you’re mixing. It took a lot work just to incorporate the wet and dry, let alone kneed it. Give this job to your kid who loves to get messy and squish things in their hands. 

When we  refrigerated the dough, it hardened until it was too tough to roll out, even when we let it warm up to room temperature. It was all worth the overnight wait in the end. After cooling, the cookies were nice and firm, no crumble at all, and didn’t spread like last year. We recommend this recipe to anyone trying to make homemade gingerbread houses for show and/or a fun Christmas activity, especially with friends and kids. This sort of craft really brings out the visionary artist in all of us. Just don’t expect it to be very tasty, unless you like eating stale adobe, or need to break a tooth. But once you have your geometry straight, you can use it like a template. 

Chocolate cement worked so well, we did it again. It cooled like mortar, but we added some rice crispy treats inside just in case. For the roof we used graham cracker layers and no beam. We know, they laid out the wrong way, but it was still a very rustic style dog house like a kid would build.

Royal icing comes from fruit cake toppings because the British royal family used this particular icing at weddings. It’s made from cream of tartar, powdered sugar and egg whites. We didn’t know that, so we made our icing out of regular milk and powdered sugar. It was super runny at first, but we thickened it up to almost right before sticking it in the fridge. Our chocolate cement worked well, but we couldn’t pipe it and it wasn’t too clean. Maybe next time we get a centerpiece idea, we could give the royals a try.

While the gingerbread chilled out, our first 2 build-a-bear kids Emma-Belle and Prince Daniel wanted to play with the rice crispy treats and make a present box full of our extra candy. Prince Daniel loves the crunchy sound the cereal makes when you mush it, and licking marshmallow off of his paws.

Emma-Belle came up with the idea of it being a treasure box. She molded the mush into a box shape and filled it up with candy. She was REALLY tempted to eat the treats instead of molding them, but we helped her by singing a working song while she shaped it.

This next part was what I had been anticipating for the past 2 months, covering everything in fondant, candy, icing and everything else I can find onto this doghouse! We heard from another website that it was best to treat fondant like wonton wrappers when covering cookies; just a quick dab of water and place it flat on the surface only adjusting a tad with your fingers. It’s William the genie and Princess Jasmine’s first Christmas this year, so we’re letting them help. Will likes to play around with dyes, making the fondant just the right shade before rolling and cutting it out into pieces to lay on the house. He even helped us make a wreath for the door with a pink bow and everything!

The tricky part was this graham cracker roof. If we made a roof out of gingerbread at this angle, we would have been worried about it being too heavy. That, and we ran out of time to do another batch before the party. Roofing shingles are kind of thin compared to walls anyhow. This way, if people want to eat our masterpiece, it would have a little variety. Not everyone likes gingerbread. If someone doesn’t want a thick spicy hard cookie, they can have a lighter sweeter cookie-esque piece.

Jasmine doesn’t like gooey or sticky rice crispy treats, or working with dough. She’s our very girly build-a-bear daughter. She was put in charge of Snoopy’s outer decorations. She strung Twizzlers all around the roof, and put Christmas light shaped pieces on top. We practiced with a few pieces during an icing kit lesson and made a few candy balls and shapes. Our little sultana must’ve liked my pink star enough to put it on the roof. Then she sifted powdered sugar on top so it could look like fresh fallen snow. She worked all through the night and fell asleep at the counter!

It was a big hit at the party. Now, the question is…what are we going to do next time? Do we have to wait until next year, or should we do another cookie house for other holidays? Just imagine, a big castle made out of cookies, a white house made out of cookies, Little House on the Prairie Walnut Grove made out of cookies, maybe we could….     

Lauren,   

What?   

Let’s keep it simple for a little while, please?

Fine.

Attention all, we at “The Hot Chocolate Bar”, the second sweetest shop aside from our partner “Honeydukes”, would like to introduce a new wizarding holiday, “Muggle-born Appreciation Day” There aren’t many wizarding families totally pure-blooded but we must admit that muggle-born wizards are often slurred and were called out by Voldemort, the Malfoy family and death-eaters alike. Jeremy and I understand that muggle-borns made a tremendous impact on wizard history despite their original persecution, hence they deserve some recognition.

We’ve also figured a little trick to the melting process . When we put the chocolate into the milk, fire the cauldron up immediately and swirl it in. Speaking of which…we’d better get a move on. The crowd is coming in!

Hermione is very different. It’s SEMI-dark chocolate; a full tablespoon, Lauren, not the whole bottle! I know almond milk is thin and watery, but we can’t afford to order another shipment until after holiday! some cinnamon from her native Gryffindor house, a tiny sea salt shot for her bossy sassiness and realism swirled into almond milk for her wholesome appreciation for magical creatures rights. Let’s reuse our excess chocolate and shave it on the top as she had naturally bushy brown crimped hair over whipped cream. They’re deliciously simple. Just melt, spread, freeze and scrape them right off the tray.

Why not take this to your next study session? Chocolate helps the mind with magnesium. Her parents were dentists, so there’s no straight sugar here. Almond milk is sweet already. Just be careful with the cinnamon. Germs eat simple sugar and coincidentally rot your enamel. Dr. Granger was once bitten by a patient and needed 10 stitches! 

Jeremy, Do you recall a little boy in Gryffindor, Colin Creevey? The one with the camera always going off?

Yes, He asked me to fix the lenses for him once or twice and a bit of lighting advice.

He never could stop asking questions in awe at the magical world. The dear had a one-year younger brother called Dennis. They tried so hard in Harry’s fourth year to boost his standings as a contender in the Triwizard Tournament. I still have my changing badge from that autumn on my cork-board. If I recall, they were great at the impediment jinx and did everything out of their love for Harry.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

This Creamy Creevey is very flashy and super sweet. Milk chocolate is best for this one with a small vanilla teardrop, as he was always so innocent and eager to please. The whip cream on top is an homage his father, a muggle milkman. See how the cream goes from liquid to nearly solid. That’s called a colloid. We found this muggle science book page that explains what we do in the kitchen much more clearly than I could.

Frothy whipped cream is in the foam category because we whip the liquid around and trap the air inside. It works well with milk too if you want something a bit lighter. The stuff coming out of the aerosol cans means it goes the other way, putting the liquid into the air. Either way is delicious, but milk foam deflates quickest. Don’t forget the strawberry red sugar popping candies for the flashbulb, with gold sparks using the “Periculum Aurum!” charm. Don’t forget, to give the customer a  Hungarian Milk Magic straw filled with miniature cookie drops. That’s the best part!

Moaning Myrtle Warren was a Ravenclaw from 1940-1943 at Hogwarts. She use to have oily spots on her face and dark-rimmed glasses, so most people teased her relentlessly, especially Olive Hornby. Mean-spirited students like to throw their belongings at her like a darts game. A translucent white skim milk…less fatty but that will compensate the white chocolate being so buttery…a miserably minty extract into a large handful of pale white chocolate, moping melted marshmallow and a few popping pimples swimming in a river of mini marshmallow tears.

Now, there’s something odd and unique about this one. It’s bluer than her disposition! She was not only a ghost, but in life she was sorted into Ravenclaw house. We at least owe her some silvery sprinkles to sweeten her mood. That is…other than having visitors like Draco or Harry in her usual abode since her restraint, the girls bathroom, the one where she was killed by the basilisk. If you truly wish to be her friend & talk about your troubles, she’ll gladly listen, as long as you don’t tease her or pull any tricks. She’s dramatically sensitive. We’ll have this one at half-price on June 13th, (her death-day) and if it’s your birthday that day, it’s free! Doesn’t that cheer you up?

Lily Potter, What a wonderful witch and woman she was back in her time. <sigh> The graceful Lily Evans was muggle-born, she graced the hearts of all she met, from a young Severus Snape to Professor Horace Slughorn. After becoming a member of the slug club and Head Girl at Hogwarts, she courted a mischievous James Potter and gave birth to her only son, Harry. Yes, THAT Harry Potter. She sacrificed her own life for him and left him her green-eyes and her protective love through old blood-magic. In recognition for her noble, tremendous heart and accomplished life of forgiveness, we give you “The Heart of Lily”.  As this one needs milk chocolate, let’s swirl in a spoonful of syrup and a pinch of dark powder nice and easy. She was always so kind to everyone, but wasn’t one to be fooled by silly boys games. Cherries are very juicy and pack a great deal of flavor. They’re nearly heart-shaped like a little ressurection stone. We’re using preserves during the winter season, but we’ll switch to stewed whole ones in the warmer months. Now, let’s swirl in some brown sugar for an extra-sweet pinch and lastly, my favorite part, a little red fish from Sweden’s Siljan to swim around the inside like the one she gave Professor Slughorn in her 7th year. That’s perfect! Ah, the little kipper looks quite pleased with his new home.

That concludes our frivolities for today. I’m very full right now. Maybe next time we venture into business, we’ll open an apothecary, stock up on some stomach soothing tea. Wait…I think, yes…Jeremy my darling partner in chocolate, I’ve got a wonderful idea bubbling out of the kettle!

Tell me after holiday, Sweetheart. I think I overdid it with all of the sweets. Less weight around my middle now means I can’t stand as much as before…if I can stand at all right now! I had better apparate home, or I’ll crash my broom & make a wrong turn into Knockturn Alley. Goodnight! <kisses Lauren goodnight>

<Lauren turns the sign around to read “closed ,for now”>

Nox!          <locks the door>         Until tomorrow.

 

We’re falling for autumn this season with a real treat for you. It’s baked to a golden brown, and warms up the whole kitchen for a good hour or 2. No, we aren’t baking pies or cookies. Funny as it seems to our US ears, it’s apple pudding fresh from the oven.

When we North Americans hear the word pudding, we think of cold creamy globs of chocolate, vanilla and tapioca covered with sprinkles or dolloped with whipped cream. As for some English folks, (I’m part English by the way.) puddings are like the cousin of brownies. It’s more like cake.

No better apple orchard than Bowman’s I say. We cracked open their apple-lovers’ cookbook to the “Quick and Easy Pudding”. Boy, were we surprised to see the word BAKE at the bottom. This one sweetened the palette.

We had a laugh mushing the sugar, flour, baking powder and apples together. I even licked the spatula. Jeremy licked the sides a bit. We had to give it a taste after all. If the powder tastes too strong in the batter, then there have to be some adjustments. That’s what knocked that guy out of the Halloween Baking Championship finale, even if his pumpkin cakes were cute and had his nieces’ names on the leaves.

As to how it tasted, it was a  very sweet treat. We took half a slice each to avoid an after-lunch sugar-rush. It felt like we had gotten a fresh-made apple version of a coffee cake with a hard crust and gooey filling. I can’t figure out where the switch was made in semantics. How about you, Lauren?

Here’s the scoop: It was at first, a meat-loaded stomach of some beast cooked into a “Podding”. Then the pronunciation thus the word became pudding, and lastly, someone made a dessert-version, but there are some more wholesome options like a bloody black pudding with sausage, sweet treacle tarts like in Harry Potter, a Yorkshire pudding that tastes like southern meat and gravy, and the suet pudding full of fatty beef or mutton.

YUCK! I’m glad we don’t have to deal with anything as grotesque as an animal’s stomach. US and Canada pudding is milk-based custard with maybe a few sprinkles on top, but I always like a nice vanilla-cinnamon blend. The apples were nice and ripe, not too mushy, but I wouldn’t have minded because some fruits get sweeter as they age, like bananas. It will be something to try. My question is: When is an apple just right to be baked, but not to the point of so mushy, they can only be applesauce?

We’ll have to see for ourselves I guess. Macs are already pretty soft, but everyone says to use granny smith apples for their hard texture and tart taste. This means research, and that means more EXPERIMENTATION!

 “PULL THE LEVER KRONK!”              <Cartoon pitfall>   “Wrong lever!”

 

Jeremy here! It was birthday season for me and Lauren these past few weeks. That means you can have your cake and eat everyone else’s for the whole month of September! Her family has at least 1 birthday each from August-April with most of the celebrations happening in mid to late September, including me. We made a sort of agreement of baking each other’s cakes: I work on hers. She works on mine and we don’t touch the other person’s work.

Her mom and I got to work on a lemon buttercream frosting and colored it tie-dye based on the graffiti cake from Pinterest. Well, we couldn’t actually air-brush paint it like professionals, and since we don’t have fondant other than pink, we settled on painting it with food coloring and making a pattern with colorful fresh blackberries and raspberries. I guess that turns it into a lemon-berry splatter cake with buttercream and berries. It reminded her of doing spin-art as a kid.

The inside was full of berries too. We wanted it to be fluffy and bright.

We made a costly mistake however of leaving it out with only a plastic cover over it for a few days. The whole confection rotted from the inside out with a gagging odor in 3 days time. Nothing disappoints like a festered cake. So, we learned to keep anything with fresh fruit in it in the refrigerator. 

Hello World! Lauren speaking, September is birthday season for my family. (5 birthdays and 3 anniversaries to be exact. Good thing we don’t have to squeeze Rosh Hashana in there too.) I decided to bake a lavender cake for my darling boyfriend with our own extract and a perfect purple vanilla-lavender frosting. 

The cake recipe was from my mom’s ever-reliable Betty Crocker cookbook from the 1950’s. She found a sunshine cake recipe in there that didn’t need too much work, considering this was my first time EVER helping her out with a cake. (Besides eating it.) We could’ve done a starlight cake, but that shade of white on the inside comes from beating up egg whites until stiff peaks, adding in butter by the Tsp and sometimes clear vanilla for extra whitening. We didn’t have the time for all of that. After all, Funfetti is fun and games for the first few bites, but he wanted a yoga theme and lavender sounds more zen to me. Funfetti uses white cake to make the colors spring-load at you.

What comes up white and comes down yellow and white? EGGS! Yellow yolks give you a yellow cake. Whites are in there too, but yellow  yolks completely overtake the color scheme. Sunshine cakes are very yellow on the inside. The key difference is in the way the yellow cakes use fatty emulsifying yolks instead of relying on just whites and shortening to give it some tenderness to the thicker grained vanilla cake. Oh, you must not have guessed…white or yellow, it’s still a vanilla cake. It’s just which way you use your eggs.

Our extract was from the bottom of the vanilla bottle. Alcohol burns off when it’s cooked. It’s not the flavor, but the solvent content to it. Vodka doesn’t have any flavor, so we used that. It’s one of the best. Store bought extracts tend to have extra fillers and sugars in them anyhow. NO BODY WANTS EXTRA SUGAR! One or 2 you can use straight off the bat. Others you’ll want t wait a week or 2. We used dry lavender from our last trip to Lavenlair Farm. It was super easy, just measure out the lavender, pour the vodka and let it sit until it’s ready to strain out. I mean, come on, who wants actual lavender pieces in their mouth? I didn’t think so. You know that rule: Don’t Eat the Garnish! well, if you can’t eat it, then why put it on the plate? Right?

My mother had to help me with this one, seeing as how I have never baked more than biscuits by myself and she didn’t want any pictures taken during the bake, so I respected her wishes. It turned out great. They fell right out of their pans without anything sticking to the metal. That’s what happens when you use Crisco. It was a delightful shade of yellow on the inside. We had just the right amount of vanilla to lavender to give it a calm but fragrant taste. 

Buttercream frosting was out of the question, what with the lavender-vanilla mix, it would have been too sweet and rich, totally crashing down on the delicate nature of the cake with a heavy frosting. So, I found a simple vanilla frosting in the frosting section of the cookbook and just used half of the vanilla and the other half lavender. The fun part was mixing the dyes into the powdery goop and getting that perfect shade of purple. I could’ve used more powdered sugar so the icing wouldn’t droop and drip off of the cake so much, but I hate powdery tasting frosting. Jeremy doesn’t like too much frosting on his cake either, so I tried to cover the boundary between the 2 layers with a ribbon of green squeezed icing. It could’ve been better executed if I had gotten a turn-table like in the bakeries, but that goes to show that I’ll need practice.

 

I never went to any kind of baking class -just a cooking club in middle school- and  Cooking isn’t Baking. It’s like a boogie boarding vs surfing. Which means I still have a lot to learn. At least my icing writing was spot-on and sparkled with flair. Don’t you love that little bit of glitz and glam on a cake? It was much appreciated. He didn’t even see the break in the layers until I turned the cake around! It just goes to show that when you put the love into something and do your best to perfect it, your company will appreciate that most of all. He said it was the greatest cake he ever had! Chalk that one up as a victory for the girls team! Oh wait…I’m not a cheerleader. I’m Me!!

 

It’s time to go back to school, grab $5 for lunch and run over to the line serving chicken patty on a bun. The smell that stained my high school cafeteria walls for life! That squishy and salty mush needs a makeover. Wouldn’t you agree?  Yes, please.

We started off with ground chicken. There are a million different spice combinations one could do with this. I remember school lunches being almost mass-produced, devoid of flavor, and completely bland. YUCK! Of course, these could go in the other direction and over spice them, that wouldn’t be good. YIKES! As a Libra, I’ll say the cliche, it’s a balancing act. If you want to be safe, better over-flavored than underwhelming for your first try. Don’t worry. You’ll get the hang of it with each try.

We mixed together some minced onion, cilantro a little salt and black pepper along with our favorite thing of all in the vegetable drawer…GARLIC!!!!!! We forgot to add the breadcrumbs and egg to this, but they still came out decently. Breadcrumbs serve to retain moisture, so it’s not too dry- filler and flavor- while the proteins in the egg bind the chicken together, called a binder. You get a better hold in your sandwich. You don’t want to have to finish a sandwich with a fork or spoon, or you don’t want the patty to fall into pieces and mix into the dirt on your picnic.

Remember when cooking chicken the internal temperature needs to be 165 degrees F. One thing I need to remember is not to keep flipping them and let the crust form on these patties. Lauren has to pull me away sometimes so I can Leave Them Alone. Remember this old jazz tune? Same idea. This crust, formed via caramelization, also adds tons of flavor. Let these suckers do their thing and only flip once, giving them at least 5-6 minutes on each side at roughly 350 degrees F on the skillet. Other than that, these are quick and easy, perfect for school-lunches, fast dinners or just a craving.